Day 9: Supplies and morale are running low. Still no land in sight.

On Friday I will have completed my 2nd week of training for my new job. I'm training on the day shift (when all of the lucky supervisors and QA people work), but the company is based on the east coast, so I've been working from 7:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Next week I start my normal schedule -- Tuesday through Saturday, 3:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m.

I've been doing my "day" work after the new job, so things are kind of reversed right now. Next week it will be Day Job from 8:00 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. (M - F) and Night Job from 3:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. (Tu - Sat). I already feel like I'm dying. I really seriously feel like I'm losing my mind. I sit at my desk for 12+ hours a day, and nothing changes. My mom lives 15 minutes away, and I can't remember the last time I saw her. I didn't even get to see her on her birthday last week -- I'm too broke to get her a gift, but giving her a hug would have been nice.

I'll do whatever I have to in order to keep my house so I can take care of my animals, but I just wish there was some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. There's not. I know that's doom-and-gloomy, but [He] was out of work for more than 2 years while he was transforming into a douchebag physician assistant, and he dumped all of that debt on me and skipped town to bang strippers. Even with 2 full-time jobs, I'm not making enough to pay down the principle on any of that debt, which means it's never going to go away. I can't even afford to heat my house. I feel so bad for AED and N. They go there last week and have been half-frozen ever since.  I'm buying my pills 7 days at a time, filling the gas tank $5 at a time, and sitting in the dark with one lamp at night in order to keep the electric bill as low as possible. Oh, and the leak in my office ceiling is so bad that the drywall is dissolving.

I don't mind working hard. I just hate that it's all for nothing. Or rather, all for [Him].