Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Say NO to SOCIALISM

Source

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock, powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US Department of Energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US Department of Agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs that have been determined as safe by the Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time, as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the US Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads built by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation -- possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door, I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After work, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to a house that has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and the fire marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log onto the internet, which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration, and post on freerepublic.com and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Today was a good day.

I had plans with My Little AED, and we both overslept. Hee. She stopped by to pick me up at noon, and we headed out to Mimosa Studios to finish the projects we began last May (shut up). AED still had a lot of work to do on Gnorma the Gnome, and I needed to put the finishing touches on the ceramic keepsake box thingy that I plan to use to store my Keeper.

From last year:








Miracle of miracles:  THE GNOME IS FINISHED. So is my Keeper Keeper.  We were joined at our table by a random girl child who wasn't much for talking but really enjoyed painting the hell out of a giraffe. I had a great time and wish I could paint ceramics for a living. Since I finished my Keeper Keeper well ahead of the gnome. AED ordered me to paint something for her to display on her desk at work. She briefly considered a ceramic snake but then decided on a fat little dragon. She gave me some vague color instructions and then got back to work on Gnorma's gnardening gloves. The little dragon ended up being bright teal with "orchid' paw  pads and ears, and his tummy and his....spines along his back? received pride rainbow stripes. I have to admit, he turned out really friggin' cute. However, since Kiki wasn't with us today, we completely forgot to take pictures. S'okay. You'll see them when they're ready.

P.S.  I feel I must confess to Toasty that while I did remember to retrieve the bowl she completed last May, I promptly left it on the table at Mimosa and didn't realize it until after we'd left. But it looks really great! AED and I were very impressed. We'll pick it up for real next week, I promise!

By then we were hungry, so we headed over to the Paradox Cafe, where AED so kindly treated me to a delicious lunch/dinner, over which we discussed such topics as why it's acceptable to pick a small fruit fly out of your food and still eat the food but finding a human hair is completely intolerable. Also AED drank an entire pitcher of water, as she is traveling through the desert tomorrow.

Our last stop was at the Yarn Garden. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd be a person who enjoyed shopping for string, but life is full of surprises. I LOVE YARN. After much browsing and discussion, AED bought some possum yarn, and away we went!

Now I am texting with B, my awesome neighbor, about....stuff. AED, if you read this, he's going to be out of town this weekend, so sooner would be better.

Good night!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Senito aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.

We're getting real close, but I'm waiting to call Official Rock Bottom for when I lose my house.

Only remaining theory: Karmic debt.

Exempli gratia
, I was a horrible, horrible person in a past life. Possibly Attila the Hun, but more likely Maximillien Robespierre.