So far, so good.

In a few hours I will take my fourth Adderall. I don't feel any different, but I'm not supposed to. I haven't noticed any huge changes in how I'm moving through the world, although I did make Kiki help me install a medicine cabinet in my bathroom at 2:00 in the morning the other day. It went very smoothly, which never happens with me. And it's almost finished. It would be completely finished, but I can't get the hinges for the door to unclench, and I have no way to install them until I figure this out. But I digress.

I've been sleeping a lot, that's the thing. I've been taking the Adderall in the morning: real morning. Normal morning. They say that Adderall can cause insomnia, so I have been hoping that it might wake me up during the day. No such luck. Could be PMS, but I have been exhausted and suspect I might be sleeping through the peak of Adderall's effects.

I haven't checked my blood pressure yet. I'm just avoiding it; I'm certain I'm going to have a heart attack or something. The Effexor raised my blood pressure at first, so I'm afraid the Adderall will, too. Tomorrow I'm sucking it up and running in to Target to get it checked. I'm still kind of nervous because after a week I'm supposed to increase my dose to 5 mg in the morning and 5 mg at midday. I'll be in Chicago by then, and I'm not too happy about being 2,300 miles away from my doctor in case anything goes wonky. But as much as I dislike having to take medication, I'm thinking I'll probably do better on a higher dose. We'll see.

The one thing I have noticed -- and I'm so unbelievably thankful for this -- is that the neighbors' dirtbikes no longer make me want to cry and then throw myself screaming off of the roof. I can hear them, and they're still awful and loud and annoying, but the sound doesn't force its way into the deepest recesses of my brain and shriek and clang and hammer until I'm half mad from it. That alone makes the whole Adderall thing worth it. My anxiety is pretty quiet, and I'm not having any jitters. Those were two of my biggest fears.

So that's what's going on. I'm going back to Chicago next Thursday, August 28th. I can't believe I'm getting on a plane AGAIN. I'm excited, though. I don't know how much more time I'm going to get with my mother-in-law, and I just miss her so much. We talk on the phone a couple times a week and write letters back and forth, but it's not the same as being together in person. He's in Chicago right now. I hope they're having a nice visit.

LT, pencil me in for a date next week! I didn't get a chance to see you last time!